Thursday, December 8, 2011

Funnies...


WORD FOR THIS POST:

Merriment (n):  1. cheerful or joyful gaiety; mirth; hilarity; laughter.



I was going to start tomorrow's post with this joke and as I was typing it just got too long so I decided to put it up today and keeps blog and writing stuff separate for tomorrow. I received this joke in an email from a friend. I hope I don't offend anyone with some language ;) Enjoy! I did!

Mathematics:  This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 years experience.  It has an indisputable mathematical logic.  It also made me Laugh Out Loud.  This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint and goes like this:
What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. 
How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z 
 Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26. 
 Then 
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =98% 
 And
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =96% 
 But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 =100%
 And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T 
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 =103% 
 And, look how far ass kissing will take you. 
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G 
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118% 
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Bullshit and AssKissing that will put you over the top.
Now you know why some people are where they are!

2 comments:

Mohamed Mughal said...

I love it. And, BTW, it's sad and it's true.

Also, the theological underpinnings that validate the logic of assigning numbers to letters is in the Old Testament "Numbers."

So there :)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Funny! Guess I'll never go over the top then.