WORD FOR THIS POST:
nebulous (adj) 1. hazy, vague, indistinct, or confused: a nebulous recollection of the meeting; a nebulous distinction between pride and conceit.
It's the first Wednesday of the month everyone; and it's my first 'insecurity' post. Where do I start? Number one: learning the ins and outs of blogger and making sure it's liked by those who view it and that I don't make errors when posting and adding pages to this site and making sure it fits well on other computer screens - need I go on.... BUT this is a smaller issue compared to my actual writing. So here it goes.
I don't want my first review to be a bad one.
I know I've let go of TWO HALVES - my first ya fiction/fantasy novel. Not many have read it, but I have gone through it way too much. So, after having promised myself to put it aside, I read it again. Now, I don't know if it's because I read it so many times, or perhaps of the ongoing learning, I am afraid others will not like the story (isn't this the most fearful thought any writer has), although I don't think my writing is nebulous.
To add to that, I'm resenting sending it in for a review, prior the release in November. What if the review is a bad one? I'm sure everyone gets bad reviews, but FIRST one? I have not received bad comments from anyone who has read it - yes constructive criticism which was great because after the correction it made the novel so much better - but not a review. So for now, that's my biggest insecurity - getting a bad review.
I've put my heart and soul into this novel. I want it to sell, I want it to do well, I want it to be loved! Yes I want that - why? So I can continue writing, because I need to write. When TWO HALVES began I wanted to write, but now, I need to write. I'm afraid a bad review (first one) would crush my little heart.
I think my only way to get over it is to set a goal: I will send TWO HALVES out for a review by October 11, 2011. I'll let you know how that went.... ... in the meantime, back to re-reading.